Potential scares the fuck out of me. Its a big, menacing area in the future that people say is fantastic and wonderful, but its also an oppressive wall.
I have such plans I want to do with my life - academic plans, things I want to achieve. Things that are dependent on other people telling me I'm alright - and I'm putting such effort and energy into these faceless people who probably could care less about me as a person, and care more about me as a monetary unit. Its terrifying.
Add that to the fact that I'm not even sure if I'm good enough to get to that level - when I'm constantly being outperformed in everything that I do - it leads me to question: Do I specialize in anything? Or am I just a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. And if I am... what next? Can a Master of None become a Master in Anything Else?
